


like we're made of starlight

by izayas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, College, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, M/M, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6896938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izayas/pseuds/izayas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hajime doesn’t notice it at first: the stars in tooru’s eyes, the galaxies in his touch, the universe in his smile. and, most of all, that tooru’s always felt the same way.</p><p>(a look into iwaizumi hajime’s journey of falling in love with oikawa tooru, from when they’re babies meeting for the first time to young adults moving in together.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	like we're made of starlight

_(1.)_

_Hajime doesn't notice it at first._

* * *

His first conscious meeting with Oikawa Tooru takes place in the safety of his living room. Their mothers have decided to get together to talk and have tea; being stay-at-home mothers with working husbands, they bring their sons over to play. Hajime's sitting in a little pen, wondering why _this_ block fits _here_ but not _there_ when another person is lowered in next to him.

Of course, the fact that he's a person doesn't register to Hajime. Not at first. He's just a toddler. He's finally mastered the art of crawling and is beginning to take his first waddling, toddling steps.

Large eyes stare inquiringly at the other human donning a onesie, soft blue like the sky. His hair is fluffy and light brown, contrasts against Hajime's less airy dark strands. His mother smiles and Hajime's nose wrinkles a little when his hair is ruffled. _"Play nice, Tooru_."

Hajime hasn't learned the concept of sharing yet, but when the human being whose name is apparently _Tooru_ reaches a hand out, Hajime instinctively hands him a block. Their little fingers brush, warm and sticky against each other. Tooru takes the block and Hajime picks up another one, tries to make it fit in the same spot. It does.

Tooru pushes himself up unsteadily. Curious, Hajime watches as he takes three steps before sitting back down. He raises his block and, with flourish, puts it in the right space. He beams. Hajime is amazed.

They lock gazes and for some reason, the way Oikawa Tooru stares at him is ingrained into Hajime's memory from then on.

* * *

Kids play together.

That's what they do.

Play.

Together.

Especially when their mothers are friends. Especially when they live just one street away from each other. Especially when they're the same age. It's one of the simpler things in life. Because before high school, where it's all about trying to fit in and be cool, and before middle school, where it's all about being different and edgy, it's just two kids playing together.

Sometimes they go on wild adventures (explore the woods behind the park.) Other times they draw in the mud (Hajime's quite an awful artist and even though Tooru's not much better, he laughs and laughs anyway.) Sometimes they share pudding. Other times Tooru just takes Hajime's and when Hajime snatches it back, Tooru starts crying. So then Hajime slides it over and pouts.

(They almost always end up sharing.)

They spend all day and all night together. Sleepovers are commonplace; when their mothers start working again, the other's home becomes their second. Tooru's house is more frequent; Hajime's an only child, so when his parents are gone, there's nobody there. But Tooru's got an older sibling. Fifteen isn't much better, but fifteen, when the two of them are six, is enough until the nanny comes home.

There's one night where they camp in Tooru's backyard (with his brother's permission and supervision) and stare at the sky. Hajime holds up the flashlight while Tooru has the book of constellations splayed over both their laps, occasionally calling for his brother. His parents buy it for him because he's absolutely mesmerized by the galaxies, but they're six years old and not exactly capable of reading all the blurbs yet. His brother is, though, and comes out trudging with a sigh every time.

" _What's that one?!"_

" _Orion's Belt, I told you."_

" _And where are the aliens?!"_

" _Coming for you."_

They sleep inside that night.

But even so, they move some books over to create a little stepladder of sorts so they can peer over the windowsill, stare through the impeccably clean glass. Tooru gushes about how pretty the stars are, how the universe is so endless and amazing. How there's so much they don't know yet. How there's so much they will never know. How that's so absolutely spectacular and incredible and he can't believe it.

When Hajime looks over, he swears he sees the stars in Tooru's eyes.

* * *

Hajime doesn't really think twice about Tooru's effervescent personality until middle school. Maybe it's because he's always been with him and has gotten used to it. That's probably it. Tooru lights up a room when he enters it; even when he's a baby, adults immediately stop and swoon and coo over him, more so than with others. When Tooru walks into a classroom, everybody's head turns. When Tooru smiles, the whole world stops.

For Hajime, at least.

Hajime's become familiar with being the messenger. Throughout their teenage years, Hajime's gotten one or two confessions himself, but the overwhelming majority of girls who come up to him ask for their letter to be forwarded to Tooru. He just nods and promises them he'll do so; their expressions light up and he's heard the same _I would, but I'm too shy!_ speech countless of times.

If these girls knew Tooru the way Hajime knows him, they wouldn't confess to him.

(Or maybe they'd fall even harder.)

Hajime always dutifully hands him the letters, regardless of the jealousy in the pit of his stomach. What he does speak up about is the way Tooru so carelessly glances at them. He tosses the envelopes into his backpack without a second thought and that's when Hajime gets mad.

" _Hey! People put in a lot of time and effort to write those for you. At least look at them!"_

" _But what's the point? I'm not interested in them!"_

" _Be a decent human being, Asskawa! Respect how others feel!"_

From then on, Tooru starts reading them and is kinder to those who approach him after classes or games to confess. Hajime doesn't say anything about it. Tooru doesn't mention it. They don't need to.

Hajime doesn't realize he's paying attention to how many confessions Tooru receives until it's their final year of middle school and suddenly finds himself counting. It's the last day of classes, so Tooru's got a whole pile on his desk. He's gone to use the washroom and Hajime's waiting because they always walk home together.

_Always._

And then it dawns on him that Tooru is like the sun. He's bright, he's at the center, he's _necessary_. He's the star setter of the volleyball team. He's always there to fill empty, awkward silences in class. He's the reason people go to club meetings. Tooru gets along with anyone. He can make everyone laugh, ease them into a situation they may not be comfortable with.

His brow knits.

Tooru can have _anyone_.

" _Iwa-chan, jealous?"_

Hajime grumbles when Tooru announces his return with a taunt. He sets the letters down and then stands. The metal legs of his chair scrape against the floor as he makes his way towards the door. Tooru's annoyingly calm as he collects his things. Hajime's watching him and notices that Tooru picks up the letters last.

" _The first one,"_ Hajime says.

Tooru looks at him. _"What?_ "

" _Akimoto Keiko. She's cute."_

Tooru grins. _"So Iwa-chan's jealous?"_

" _No,"_ he says and adjusts his backpack. _"You should go on a date with her. She's the most popular girl in the school. I think she's good for you."_

" _Oh."_

Tooru seems honestly surprised and Hajime just watches as he opens the letter. Tooru's always been a fast reader, so he skims the contents swiftly and then looks up with a slight purse of his lips. _"Iwa-chan really thinks so?"_

" _Yeah."_

Tooru and Keiko start dating and Hajime doesn't know why it feels like his heart is shattering. Because, yeah, he and Tooru hang out less. But it's not as if Tooru neglects him entirely. They still get together for promised movie premieres and marathons. It's just that sometimes Tooru's Friday nights are busy and Hajime finds himself sitting alone in his room, smashing at his keyboard and killing monsters.

But near the end of the summer when his phone goes off and he sees a text from Tooru, he stops, mumbles 'hold on' to the people he's playing with.

**From: Shittykawa**

_iwa-chan! sleepover?_

**To: Shittykawa**

_you don't want to spend the last friday of summer with keiko?_

**From: Shittykawa**

_we broke up_

Hajime's heart, lungs, and fingers all stop. His fingers regain mobility first, heart second, breathing apparently the least of his concerns.

**To: Shittykawa**

_oh. sorry. yeah sure come over whenever you're ready_

Tooru shows up maybe half an hour later and Hajime's relieved he doesn't seem too bummed out. He's grinning as he always is, immediately sauntering into the living room and demanding all his favorite snacks. Hajime halfheartedly reprimands him, but brings the popcorn as he sits next to him on the couch.

" _Hey,"_ he asks _, "are you okay?"_

" _About Keiko-chan?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _I'm fine!"_

Tooru looks over.

" _Iwa-chan's my one and only, you know."_

Hajime throws popcorn at him for that, to which Tooru whines, and he ignores the way his heart swells, tries to disregard that he's an awful friend for feeling _relieved_ to hear about his best friend's break up.

* * *

_(15.)_

_That he's falling in love with Tooru._

* * *

Hajime wonders.

Wonders about Oikawa Tooru's existence.

He wonders a lot about Tooru.

He wonders about the softness of his skin, the curves of his cheeks, the bright smile he slips in and out of as casually as slippers. He wonders about his pouts. He worries about all his masks, the expressions he's practiced. Tooru seems strong and he is. But Tooru is also human, flawed and fragile. So Hajime worries about the boy he's grown up with his entire life.

About how he cries when he's alone.

About how he puts himself back together for the sake of his team.

About how Oikawa Tooru tries so goddamn hard and deserves the world, but the world is unfair.

About how Oikawa Tooru deserves absolutely everything.

Hajime wonders a lot about Tooru, but when they're in high school, one thing is wondered about more than everything else:

" _When the fuck did you get taller than me?!"_

" _Iwa-chan, jealous? …IWA-CHAN, DON'T HIT-!"_

* * *

" _Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan! Pretend to be my boyfriend!"_

" _What the hell did you do this time?"_

Tooru hasn't done anything. Hajime thinks he's trying to run away from a fangirl or an ex, but Tooru just points excitedly at a new ice cream parlor. Hajime follows the direction of his finger; he's about to lecture him about pointing being rude when he sees the sign and understands:

_COUPLES' SPECIAL! 50% OFF!_

Hajime just sighs, but the way his shoulders slump is enough for Tooru to grab his hand—their hands have always just fit so well together—and lace their fingers. Hajime finds himself pulled to the entrance, his feet stumbling over each other as Tooru's gracefully lead them both. They're shown to a booth and Tooru beams enough for the two of them, hands together until the very last moment. They take seats opposite from each other and nod when the waitress chirps that she'll be back to take their orders soon. Hajime's still deciding between red bean or green tea when he hears 'move over.' He looks up to see Tooru standing by him with his menu, staring.

He slowly moves over.

"… _Why?"_

" _We're pretending to be dating, Iwa-chan! It has to be realistic!"_

Hajime grumbles but he doesn't say anything else, doesn't even think about moving so the lengths of their thighs aren't pressed against each other. He feels Tooru's shoulder against his, can feel it move every time he talks or laughs. They end up ordering a sundae to split (Tooru says they can always order more) and Hajime's struggling to get a piece of mochi when Tooru's suddenly holding a spoonful to his lips.

It's cold, so Hajime jolts a little. _"Because we're pretend dating,"_ Tooru explains when they make eye contact. Hajime's a little perplexed, but he opens his mouth.

It's a strange experience, being fed by Oikawa Tooru.

But it's not bad.

" _Good?"_

" _Yeah."_

Tooru smiles. And just as Hajime's gone back to excavating for some mochi, he feels Tooru's hand against his jaw. He jolts more than he did when he felt ice cream against his lips. Eyes widen as he stares at him; he feels Tooru's thumb sweep over the corner of his mouth and his breathing immediately turns shallow.

" _Iwa-chan's such a messy eater."_

" _You're just bad at feeding me."_

" _Mean…!"_

Tooru draws his hand back and the cold feeling isn't from their sundae. Hajime finally gets his damn mochi and is chewing it when he glances over.

"… _Because we're fake dating?"_

And when Tooru looks over, the curve of his lips happens after a pause just a moment too long, a lilt that's a little too lopsided, a grin that's a little too sad.

" _Of course. Fake."_

* * *

Tooru injures his knee and Hajime yells at him.

Tooru's still practicing in the gym. Hajime's taken a seat on the bleachers; he's working on his homework because the sun's long since set and he's exhausted but refuses to leave without Tooru. He's gone from _'just a few more!'_ to completely ignoring him, so Hajime does the same. His eyes look up after every few problems to watch Tooru because even if he's pissed, he cares.

Sweat is rolling down the sides of his face, tracing the shape of his jaw. Tooru's panting alone fills the entire gym and Hajime's sighs occasionally join in. He checks his phone and sees that it's nearly eleven. This time he packs up his stuff; they're leaving, he decides. He'll knock Tooru out and sling his body over his shoulder if he has to.

But he doesn't. He doesn't, because there's a sudden cry of pain and Hajime's stuff drops to the ground right before Tooru does, before Hajime can reach him. He's holding his knee, face contorted with pain and Hajime's scared. He's so scared; he tries to reassure him, tell him it'll be okay, but he doesn't know if it will be. A hand rests on Tooru's shaking shoulder as he dials for an ambulance, voice shaking.

" _H-hello? We need a ambulance, my dumbass—my friend hurt himself, I-I don't know what's wrong…"_

Hajime tries to stay as long as he can, but suddenly it's _blood relatives only_ and he's taken home by his parents, sullen and shocked. His mother's arms are warm around him, but he still feels cold. After being there when Tooru's admitted, Hajime visits only once. It's quiet. It's tense. Hajime doesn't feel comfortable enough to sit and the flowers he's brought are a little crushed from his grip. He ends up yelling at a mute Tooru and even though he feels awful about it later, at the time he's just _so angry_.

The next time he visits is when Tooru is resting at home.

He's quiet, sitting upright in bed. He hasn't been to school for a few days because he needs to rest and as soon as practice is over, Hajime heads over. Because if the captain is out, then vice captain steps in. And as much as he wants to spend all day yelling at him, Hajime knows his responsibilities and priorities. He can't skip out on his team, not when they need him. Not when Tooru needs him to be there for them.

It's the third day and Hajime drops all his textbooks and notes on his desk. Tooru hardly flinches. He's staring at his palms and Hajime's eyes go to his knee under his blanket. They haven't talked, not since Hajime yelled at him in the hospital. But still, he visits. Because Tooru is his best friend. It's what best friends do.

Be there for each other, even without words.

Tooru's mother tells him that he'll be all right; he can still play, just can't overexert himself. She says it with a smile and shakes her head when Hajime mumbles an apology for yelling at Tooru.

She adds, _"It's not your fault, Hajime-kun. Don't take the blame, all right?"_

But he does.

Because he should've stepped in more. Sooner. He should've seen what Tooru was doing to himself.

Because he _knew_ Tooru practiced too much, too long, too hard. He _knew_ that he was pushing himself all the time. He _knew_ and yet something like this still happened and he's grateful that, this time at least, it's not too late.

" _We have a match tomorrow. Easy team. We should be fine."_

Hajime sits down next to him.

" _You'll have three tests to make up next week when you go back. They weren't bad. And you're good at chemistry."_

He takes a sip of his water.

" _You're such a goddamn moron, Asskawa."_

Tooru doesn't say anything. Hajime stares at him for a bit longer before he stands. _"I've got work to do. I'll bring you notes again tomorrow."_

But right before he's about to leave, he hears Tooru:

" _I'm sorry."_

Hajime's grip on the doorframe tightens. So does his chest, though he exhales before looking over his shoulder. Tooru hasn't looked up, but his eyes have moved from his palms to his knee and it's silent for a bit before Hajime sighs.

" _You're really stupid, you know that? You'll always be enough for me. Now hurry up and get better. Everyone says I'm too harsh."_

And just before he leaves, he sees Tooru's lips gather into a small smile.

* * *

They get lost going home one day.

They start arguing on the metro and miss their stop entirely. By the time they get off, they have no idea where they are and the last train going home has already left. They decide to walk (it's only a few miles, Tooru says) and that's it for conversation.

Hajime and Tooru are both very stubborn people, armed with steely resolves. So they talk to figure out how to get home, but once they've got a plan, they stop. Tooru's annoyed that Hajime has to cancel their ritual Friday movie night; Hajime's annoyed that Tooru's clearly a five year old who doesn't understand anything beyond his own desires.

They're best friends.

Best friends do that.

Fight.

It's already dark; club meetings and practice ended up running long that day. They're both tall for second years (when considering the volleyball team, they're actually relatively average, but when considering the rest of Japan, they're quite tall) but that doesn't change the fact that they're sixteen years old. Despite how annoyed Hajime is, he starts walking closer to Tooru when the sun's entirely set and they find themselves in a more suspicious area, laden with abandoned alleyways and distant yelling.

Tooru doesn't say anything, but he doesn't move further.

" _Hey hey, look what we've got here… spoiled rich brats, huh?"_

Hajime's eyes narrow. _"Just ignore them. Walk faster,"_ he mumbles as his first words in over an hour and Tooru obliges. But the taunting continues and as quickly as Hajime's long legs are carrying him, they won't outdo jogging. His arm is jerked back; his eyes widen and he sees the fear flickering through Tooru's expression. Bringing an elbow back, he finds that it's caught; his arm is twisted behind his back and he spits a swear, hisses in pain.

" _Run!"_ he yells at Tooru. _"Run, moron!"_

They're tall and athletic, but they're still two sixteen year olds against six or seven adults. Hajime swears when the grip on his arm tightens, head bowing as his teeth bite down on his bottom lip. He needs Tooru to run so he can get help, but he mostly needs Tooru to run so he can stay _safe_. He gives a grunt of pain when there's a swift kick to his stomach. The grip on his arm is released, but he falls to the ground; it's hard to breathe and, not knowing what's going to happen to him, all Hajime can think of is how skipping their movie night isn't something he wanted to do, it's because his parents forced him to.

Hajime's mentally preparing himself for another kick when he hears the sound of metal on bone. He looks up to see Tooru dropping a steel pipe, the person who'd kicked Hajime grunting in pain and holding his head. Tooru's eyes are wide and he's shaking, but there's relief when he locks eyes with Hajime.

" _Oi, brat! The fuck you think you're doing?!"_

And it's seeing someone punch Tooru in the face while another is holding him still that gets Hajime back on his feet. He lunges towards him, body slamming him away; it gives Tooru the opportunity he needs to loosen the other's grip. Hajime holds up his arms to defend himself against the person he'd attacked until he can turn the momentum around and deliver blows of his own. His blood is pounding through his ears so loudly it's deafening; he doesn't even know how they manage, but somehow all of the thugs are temporarily paralyzed long enough for Tooru to grab Hajime's wrist, yell ' _run'_ and then they're off.

They're just two tall and athletic sixteen year olds, but knowing the other's life is potentially at risk is enough to at least momentarily overpower six or seven grown men.

It's by pure chance they find themselves on a busy street after several turns. They stop by the entrance of a large department store and take a moment to catch their breath. Hajime finds it hard to stand up straight; every time he tries there's a searing pain, so he gives up and winds up sitting down, holding his side. Tooru joins him; a little crowd has formed around them, but all Hajime's concerned about is his best friend. He's got a busted lip and a black eye, a few cuts and bruises, but what Hajime's most worried about is the way he's holding his shoulder.

" _It's nothing as bad as my knee. Probably just a strain. Good thing it's summer soon, right?"_

" _Oikawa, when I told you to fucking run—"_

" _And leave you?"_ Tooru interjects. _"Never. I'm never leaving you behind, Iwa-chan."_

Somebody calls them an ambulance and both their parents arrive. They're in the emergency room where a curtain is drawn between them. Tooru's got a sprained shoulder and wrist while Hajime's got a few bruised ribs; they're actually pretty lucky, he thinks, because they'll both be fine in a few weeks. Hajime nods when the doctor walks off and is silent as his parents start arguing. He closes his eyes; it's Thursday night and this is really the last thing he needs. He just wants to go home and sleep, so he says:

" _I know you guys are getting a divorce. That's what Friday night was supposed to be, right? Telling me? Well, I know. So… just stop. I want to go home."_

They're surprised and staring at their son. Hajime looks away when his mother tries to take his hand, father quietly murmuring he'll bring the car around. His mother goes to sign some papers and Hajime's not surprised when the curtain is pulled back and Tooru's looking at him, arm in a sling.

"… _Iwa-chan—"_

" _Can I come over tomorrow night?"_

Tooru smiles.

"… _I'll even let Iwa-chan pick the movie."_

* * *

_(18.)_

_That's he's fallen in love with Tooru._

* * *

Finals are the worst.

Finals mean late nights studying. Finals mean high-strung tempers. Finals mean Tooru losing sleep for a reason other than volleyball and Hajime's retorts snappier than usual.

And yet, they still study together.

Hajime has history tomorrow; it's one of his worst subjects because while memorizing signals and plays in volleyball comes naturally, dates and names and locations get jumbled in his head. Three attempts at a study guide are scattered in front of him, arms sandwiching one against his textbook. He's holding the eraser end of his pencil to his lips and, before he even realizes it, is staring at Tooru.

Tooru's beautiful. This is something Hajime's accepted long ago. He has hair that seems to never be anything but the perfect level of tousled, a sharp jawline, high cheekbones, a permanent twinkle in his eyes. His skin is fair and flawless; while everyone else is tainted with hormones and acne, Tooru seems to consistently maintain a modelesque appearance.

When Tooru's concentrating, something about him changes. Hajime's seen it mostly on the court; he's always a good captain, but it's undeniable that some games are taken more seriously than others. That's how it is. Some teams pose more of a threat than others.

So it's not that Tooru's nonchalant about some, but that he's tenser about others. And Hajime knows which ones because it's the same for him. After the pre-game pep talk in the locker room, Hajime tells the team to head out first, that he needs to talk with Tooru. And once the last player clears out, Hajime walks up to him and squares his shoulders:

" _We're going to do this."_

Tooru looks at him silently.

" _You're strong, Oikawa. As long as I'm on the court with you, you've got_ _nothing to worry about."_

Because when Tooru's concentrating on something, his entire demeanor shifts a little. It's closer to who Tooru really is. He's not always the chipper, energetic personality that's shown to fans, television crews, the general public. He's harsh on himself, holds himself to the highest of standards.

It breaks Hajime's heart to know that Tooru doesn't see himself the way Hajime does. Not at all, not even a little.

Because when Tooru's concentrating on something, his aura is chilling. He's so intense; his brow creases, his eyes lose a bit of luster, his expression is focused. It scares people. Hajime sees those on the receiving end of such expressions from Tooru and he doesn't blame the way they recoil or flinch.

Oikawa Tooru can be terrifying.

But there's something beautiful about how chilling he is and Hajime can't stop staring. He's so silent, so serene; he's always been graceful, even while sitting.

Tooru's eyes flit up to meet Hajime's. _"What is it?"_ he asks quietly.

" _Nothing."_

He goes back to his work, writes something down. And then when he's touching the end of his pencil to his lips, Hajime realizes he's actually jealous of wood and graphite.

* * *

" _Maybe you should've gone to Shiratorizawa,"_ Hajime says after they lose against Karasuno.

" _No."_

Tooru's response is so quick, firm, decisive that Hajime looks up in slight surprise. His eyes and nose are still a bit red from crying, thinks his shoulder probably is too from when Tooru hit him. But seeing the way Tooru's smiling makes him forget the burning pressing to the back of his eyes, the aching of his throat.

" _You're my ace, Iwa-chan. We're partners."_

He straightens, looks him dead in the eyes.

" _I don't regret anything from the last three years we've spent together."_

* * *

" _So you're leaving tomorrow?"_

" _Yeah."_

They're going to different colleges.

They talked about this. They receive their best offers of recruitment from different schools. Hajime wants to go into sports physical therapy afterwards. Tooru wants to play professionally. Their paths are splitting after seventeen years. It's time for them to part.

They're eating dinner together, one last time, at their favorite ramen place. It's also the most beloved for the Aoba Johsai volleyball team, but it's so much quieter with only the two of them. They're seated at the bar, stools so close their legs touch and neither moves to pull away.

Hajime's heart aches at thinking of Tooru going on a train tomorrow and not even looking back.

" _You'll call, right?"_

" _Text."_

" _Oh."_

" _And Skype?"_

" _Yeah. Definitely."_

Their food arrives. It doesn't taste as good as it normally does, Hajime thinks, which is strange because the food here's never been subpar. But the flavors aren't exploding in his mouth. Tooru's arm against his is more exhilarating and when Hajime takes Tooru's hand spontaneously for one moment, one tiny moment, Tooru doesn't pull away.

Hajime pays for dinner because they get dessert afterwards and Tooru pays for that. It's quiet. It's not usually this quiet between them. It's not usually this quiet, gloomy, and sullen.

" _You'll come home during breaks?"_

" _Definitely. You?"_

" _My mom's already looking at tickets."_

Hajime smiles slightly but the curve is quick to disappear.

"… _What if we play against each other?"_

They stop walking. Hajime's not going to go pro, but he's going to play in college. Both their schools are known for sports; it's generally inevitable they'll end up seeing each other on the court, just on different sides of the net.

Tooru looks at him and smiles.

"… _Then we put up a hell of a fight, right, Iwa-chan?"_

He holds a fist up.

Hajime smiles, bumps his own against Tooru's.

"… _Right."_

They walk home together after that. Tooru's house comes up first, so Hajime walks him to the door, just like he always does. Tooru says that he'll text him tomorrow, probably, and Hajime promises to answer, not yell at him about his overuse of emoticons. Tooru cracks a smile at that and his hand rests on the doorknob.

" _Iwa-chan, you know we're not over, right?"_

Hajime blinks.

" _We never are. You and I are forever."_

Hajime doesn't get what he means. Not at first, anyway. Tooru's always saying things that don't make much sense and Hajime dismisses it as Tooru being Tooru, strange and speaking a language only he can understand. But Hajime understands a few days later, when it's his turn to leave and he texts Tooru.

**From: Shittykawa**

_i miss you_

Simple, no emoticons. Nothing.

Hajime's heart aches, but he texts back:

**To: Shittykawa**

_moron. i'll see you soon_

The response is quick and Hajime's heart goes from aching to entirely falling apart. And yet, he smiles.

**From: Shittykawa**

_soon isn't soon enough_

* * *

They play against each other.

Hajime's heart drops to the floor when the coach announces their next match and his first instinct is to text Tooru about it. But he doesn't. Not for a few days. And when he does, he mentions it casually, slipped between roommate and class complaints. Tooru replies in the same nonchalant manner.

**To: Shittykawa**

_nah. roommates fine except he doesn't do his dishes so im gonna kick his ass. btw we're playing you guys next week_

**To: Shittykawa**

_pretty sure everyone in history did shit just to fuck me over_

**From: Shittykawa**

_hahaha iwa-chan that's a little arrogant, don't you think? that history wrote itself just for you? (_ _艸_ _`)_

**From: Shittykawa**

_bring your A game because i don't plan on losing, not even to iwa-chan_

When he steps onto the court and sees Tooru on the starting lineup just like Hajime is, he gives a ghost of a smile. They catch each other's eyes and for a second, the packed gym is empty and it's just the two of them. They give a nod and after exchanging smirks, they're back in reality, back on opposite sides.

It's strange to see Tooru in uniform through a net, he thinks.

The crowd is cheering. He hears whispers about how he and Tooru were on the same team; it's pretty uncommon for two first years to already be regulars, so of course they'll know about them. He blocks them out as best he can, just looks at Tooru across the court.

" _Iwa-chan, red does suit you more,"_ Tooru says when they're both in the front.

" _And you're still in turquoise, huh?"_

It's strange to not receive Tooru's tosses, he thinks.

He watches him toss; he's as elegant as he always has been, except they're to someone else. Someone with a hell of a spike, Hajime thinks, yet he receives flawlessly almost every time. He can see Tooru's teammates scowl whenever he does but when he looks to Tooru, there's a smirk, a proud one.

" _I'm your opponent right now, you know."_

" _It's just nice to see my ace doing so well."_

" _Oh, so I'm still your ace?"_

Tooru looks at him, smirks.

" _Of course. You ever thought otherwise?"_

Hajime didn't, actually.

The game goes the full five sets, almost all of them nearing, if not going over, thirty points. Hajime's team manages to pull forward enough to win, the final score ending with 35 to 33. As the captains shake hands, Tooru walks over, arms crossed and huffing but Hajime sees the way his eyes are smiling.

" _So looks like Iwa-chan did win."_

" _Don't beat yourself up about it. You put up a good fight."_

Tooru smiles and they shake hands, touch lingering before they have to part ways. And when they're on the bus ride home, Hajime can't help but think about one particular moment, about one particular point.

It's not set point or anywhere near it, so it wasn't important. But when Hajime had been in the front row, he'd caught Tooru's eye just as he was about to toss. Their ace was lining up for the ball, knees bent and arm pulled back, just as Tooru tosses the ball…

…to Hajime.

Right over the net, in perfect position for Hajime. Reflexes kick in and he hits it, feels the solid connect of an excellent toss. They're stunned. They stare at each other for a moment before Tooru gives this lopsided grin, laughs.

" _Sorry, sorry! Just wanted one last toss with Iwa-chan, I guess!"_

He gets a bit of heat from his team but more than makes up for it the rest of the time. But every time Tooru and Hajime's eyes meet, Hajime smirks and Tooru knows why, so he huffs.

But then he smiles.

* * *

Hajime doesn't know when they started dating.

He really doesn't.

Shouldn't someone have asked? Or shouldn't they have talked about it? Is there supposed to be a signal? Isn't this something that he should be aware of? One day they're not, the next they are?

All he knows is that one break they're hanging out as usual and the next one, they're kissing. They're on the couch in Hajime's basement, watching a national men's volleyball team match. Tooru reaches over because he wants the remote but Hajime holds it further out of his reach, laughs at his whining.

Hajime doesn't really read romance novels; that's more of Tooru's thing. But sometimes Tooru reads aloud to share a passage (or piss him off) so Hajime knows about _the moment_.

Because apparently there's a _moment_ before a kiss. And in that moment, the knowledge of the kiss happening is realized. It's some mystical, amazing, tense, tender thing, this _moment_. It's what writers lament about for paragraphs and paragraphs. It's when time stops, or something. It has fireworks. Or maybe that's during the kiss. Hajime forgets; he's learned to block out Tooru's dramatic readings if he can.

But it happens.

The moment.

Between them.

That moment.

Tooru's so close and Hajime catches a whiff of cocoa butter as they're staring at each other. He sees the tendrils of Tooru's hair against his forehead, every last detail of his face, the specks of color in his eyes. He sees everything and is reminded how Tooru is actually breathtakingly, mesmerizingly beautiful.

Tooru's stupid romance novels are right:

Time stops.

Breathing is shallow.

There's electricity.

Then Tooru leans in and kisses him. Hajime inhales one last time before his breath stops entirely; his mind stops, his heart stops, everything stops except for his mouth moving against Tooru's. It's a sweet kiss; it's short and chaste, light and gentle. It leaves Hajime both content and begging for more when Tooru pulls back.

And the way he smiles, god that little laugh he gives, drives Hajime insane. Because it's beautiful the way he is and Hajime laughs in return; they're twenty years old and just shared their first kiss and it felt perfect, it felt wonderful.

So then they kiss again.

Hajime exhales into his mouth this time, breathes his name. Tooru's hands are on his body, gently guiding him into lying down. Their legs tangle together the way Hajime's hands in Tooru's hair and the only reason they stop is because smiling is making it hard; they can't stop smiling, they just can't, and as Tooru's forehead is against Hajime's, his eyes remain closed.

" _Iwa—"_

" _Don't talk."_

Hajime smiles, doesn't know if Tooru can see, but murmurs _'me too'_ before he kisses him again.

There's apparently a line between friends and lovers, but Hajime's not sure they ever crossed it. Maybe there isn't a line. Maybe there isn't one for them. He doesn't recall recognizing it or even thinking of it. Because what's beautiful is that this feels so natural, the way they transition into being best friends to lovers. How every time they held hands it felt like second nature, how kissing feels like another way to communicate between them.

How the only real difference is the occasional kiss now and then, but everything else is the same. How they still text, call, Skype each other when they're free, will send pictures of things that remind them when they're with other people. How, really, _nothing_ has changed except the addition of physical intimacy.

It feels like the easiest thing in the world, but it somehow makes Hajime so much happier.

He gets a text one night at college. It's his last year; he and Tooru will be graduating soon and have already signed a lease for an apartment together in Tokyo. He's got a pencil tucked behind his ear, scratch paper and notebooks piled to his left, coffee on his right. His computer's open to a project he's been working on; he hates lab reports, Hajime _hates_ lab reports, but he loves performing experiments. He loves research. It makes him feel alive, but writing these damn reports make him feel dead.

His eyes fall to his screen and smiles.

Because he and Tooru have always had similar sleep schedules; somehow if one is up late, the other, more often than not, is as well. It's like they're synchronized, even miles and miles apart. Hajime doesn't need to ask why he's still up; Tooru's mentioned a term paper he's been putting off because it's so _boring_ and he, too, thinks everyone in history did all that stuff just to torture him.

They're almost done, he thinks. They're almost done with college, with being so far away. They've got an apartment together and their new life is about to begin and Hajime can't wait to share it with the one who matters most to him.

**From: Shittykawa**

_iwa-chan, do you believe in soul mates?_

**From: Shittykawa**

_because i think you're mine_

* * *

_(22.)_

_And that Tooru's always felt the same way._

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact about this fic: i named the google doc 'my iwaoi mistake' because this ended up 5k words longer than intended. thank you to loveandallthat and inkandwords for being betas!
> 
> thank you for reading! comments/kudos are appreciated ❤


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